True Story

Ran Dax to the bathroom because it was clear he needed to....um....use it.  Sat him on the seat and after a few grunts, we had evidence that he was successful.  His grunt face immediately turned to bright, excited eyes as he asked cheerfully, "Mom, is it BIG?"

Yes, son.  Yes, it was.  But remember, size isn't everything.

What My Kids Have Taught Me

Pfffft pfffft....is this thing still on??

Lately I have been so overwhelmed with gratitude for my healthy little munchkins I felt I needed to document a few of the things that remind me I love being a mommy before I forget.

• Moby Wraps are fantastic.  I heart babywearing.  It allows for keeping foreheads close enough for frequent kisses, and little bodies close enough for never-ending snuggles.  

• Potty training is pretty stressful, but when your little man poops in the toilet and looks up, beaming when you cheer and says, "A-gain!  P'eas?"  It's really difficult not to laugh.

• Cloth diapering is not difficult.  In fact, it's much easier than I anticipated.  In fact, I kind of hate disposables now.

• Sometimes I get really frustrated at all the dumb toys all over my house.  Then, I hear Dax's little feet slapping against the concrete floor as he screams, "Buhh Zy-year to a wess-you!" ("Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!") while making Buzz fly Lightning McQueen throughout the house.  Makes me smile every time.

• Sometimes I worry for Addie's safety when Dax over-loves her.  But knowing that my kids like each other (at least for now) is a happy thought.

• There isn't anything better than an open-mouthed toothless baby grin.  Except maybe little toddler butts in boxer briefs.  Not sure which one wins here.

• Newborn giggles make my heart melt.  

• Being 2 is about as exhausting as being a mommy.

• Laundry is the worst, but dressing my little princess in super-cute clothes is worth it.

• Ikea boxes make perfectly acceptable costumes.

• Crying babies are still cute.  Whiny ones are not.

• Nothing kills the excitement of your little one's first #2 in the potty quite like him peeing on your brand new treadmill moments later....then dancing in it.

• Even tiny little boys respond to sports references.  Dax refuses to help clean up the toys unless you ask him to slam dunk them into the toy box.  Then he's totally game.  Literally.

• My kids are the cutest things in the entire world, and I am incredibly lucky to be their mom.  I wouldn't change it for the world.

Dental Woes

I prefer to have my son literally SCREAMING while I brush his teeth.  He's mad at me anyway.  At least that way his mouth is open (instead of clenched shut) and I have clear access to his pearly whites.  I figure it's win-win.

THE Story

Gory details may or may not be included.  Really, I blog for me....so if you don't want to read it, feel free not to!  :)

Despite many prayers and old wives' tactics, we could not get the baby to come before our induction date. So, on the morning of October 12, we headed to Ogden Regional Hospital for our 9am appointment.

I checked in alone, since Robbie was dropping Daxson off to his super-generous sister and parents, who were so willing to take care of him for us, despite SO many other things going on.  I was taken to my hospital room and given LOADS of paperwork (holy shnikeys....it's unreal!) to fill out while I was "prepped" for the induction.  I had still hoped to be induced without the help of Pitocin (not a huge fan, myself), but the fetal monitor, while showing the consistent contractions I had been having for three weeks,  failed to show that the contractions were doing very little to bring the baby quickly.

My original plan was to have my midwife come and break my water first, and see what my body did to react to it, and go from there.  Unfortunately, my rockstar midwife (seriously....she's amazing) not only had me in "labor", but two other women at a neighboring hospital in labor on top of her regular daily workload at the clinic.  Plus she was on call for basically the entire clinic.  I said a silent prayer that she would make it to deliver my baby, and I was told she would be over "shortly".

At this point, I was at 3 cm dilated and still 80% effaced.  My nurse, Renee, began to hook me up to the Pitocin (I consented in order to get things started while I sat there waiting and alone).

Robbie eventually showed up a bit later, and Machel (my midwife) came shortly afterward and broke my water.  She said she would be back when I was at about 8 cm, and headed off to her other clients.

Before she left, I asked her (like normal) whether she had gotten any sleep the night before.  Normally, she answered, "Nope.  It's October!  I delivered three babies last night." or something similar.  However, this time, she cheerfully said, "Actually, I got about five hours of sleep last night, which is much more than normal!"  Crazy lady....she's in high demand!!

After Machel left, I was still hooked up to the Pitocin, and we decided to stay on it until labor became more intense, so I rolled onto my side and started working on my hypnosis.

A while later, I opened my eyes and asked Robbie if we could call in Renee to turn off the Pit since labor was getting pretty strong and I wanted to see if it would continue without the IV.  He looked at me, shocked, and said, "She came in and turned it off about half an hour ago!"

"You mean the Pitocin is off?"

"Yup."

"So...we're actually in 'labor' and my body is doing this on its own?"

"Yup."

"Cool!"

I was pretty excited about that since Dax's birth was so different, and every time they had turned off the Pitocin with him, labor stopped or stalled significantly.  I was on the Pit with him until he was born.  But with Addie, I had hope!

I settled back into hypnosis, and my parents and doula/sister (whom I'd highly recommend if anyone is interested) showed up shortly afterward.

By this point, I was about at a 5.5 or so, and it was early afternoon.  I had serious doubts about how long it would take for the baby to be born since Dax's labor was so ridiculous, but continued to be hopeful that she would come, and fairly quickly.  Contractions at this point were super-easy still, and I began to resign myself to the fact that it would be another 12 hour-or-so labor.

Renee came in around 2 or 2:30 and (mostly serious) said,"I did all the paperwork, so I'd like to be here for the delivery, and I get off at 5.  See what you can do."

I had really wanted her to be there as well.  She was an amazing nurse, and actually had been my nurse with Dax until her shift ended, and I ended up having another nurse whom I didn't really enjoy for the last few hours of Dax's labor and delivery.  I hopes that it would happen, but I was quite doubtful.

I must have looked slightly nervous about the prospect of more Pitocin (thinking that was what Renee was implying), because Talya was quick to keep me calm, told me that I didn't have to go back on the IV, and reminded me of ways to get actual oxytocin going in my body so that Pitocin wasn't necessary.  Gratefully, I took her advice.

I wanted to get in the tub.  Water sounded heavenly.  So, after about 15 minutes of fetal monitoring, I was able to climb in the tub and relax and work on getting that oxytocin going through my blood.

It was almost immediate when I got into the water, the contractions kicked into high gear.  I was so grateful for all my practice and hypnosis training, because everything was still fine.  I was in control of my body, and though I felt intense pressure, I felt very little discomfort.

Addie (like Dax had been) was positioned posterior at this point.  This meant that labor is usually slower and more uncomfortable because the baby's head is "backward" and doesn't as smoothly pass through the birth canal, etc.  I hadn't felt any back labor until this point, but now it came with a vengeance.  When I got out of the tub, Renee checked my cervix (now at a 6), and I opted to labor on the birthing ball.  Talya and Robbie took turns working on giving themselves carpal tunnel by applying counter-pressure to my back, while I attempted to visualize her turning, and stay in hypnosis.

Robbie thought then would be a good time to take a break and grab a Snickers.  He later said that it was nearly the most costly Snickers of his lifetime.

While at the vending machine, he called his mom to check on Dax and give her an update.  He told her I was at a 6, so it probably would be a few more hours until we had a baby.  He hung up and slowly worked his way back to the room.

My dad called him while he was in the elevator to tell him to hurry back, but he didn't answer since he was only a minute or so away from the room.

While he was gone, Renee suggested we change positions to try to turn the baby.  I got back onto the bed and laid in the way she told me.  Instant relief.  It was amazing how different it felt, and how much less back pressure I felt.  I was deeply in hypnosis at this point, and was quite surprised when I felt an urge to push.  I thought, that doesn't happen until the very end!  I didn't know what to do with my new information, so I tried to stay relaxed while Renee checked me and announced I was at an 8.  I couldn't believe I had gone from a 6 to an 8 so quickly.

I heard Renee call Machel and calmly tell her that I was at an 8 and that I was feeling the urge to push.  Her voice seemed to become more serious when she ended the conversation with, "We need you over here right now."

It seemed like only a minute or two, and honestly, I think it was only a couple of contractions before Machel showed up.  I couldn't believe she was here, since only about 30 minutes prior, I was steeling myself for a long evening of labor.  She washed and gloved up and headed over to me.

I could feel that Addie was still posterior and her little head didn't seem to be in any position to come out, despite the huge impulses to push, so I was surprised when Machel had Talya, Robbie (he was back by this point), and Renee help to turn me onto my back for delivery of the baby girl.  Once I was turned over, Machel said calmly, "Ok, friend, we're ready for you to push."

"I'm only at an 8!!" I thought in my head, but Machel sure seemed to think the baby was ready.  I pushed with all my might, but felt sharp pain down below.  Machel informed me that she was going to cut an episiotomy since she was fairly certain I would completely tear otherwise, and I said, "Fine.  Go ahead!"

A couple of snips, another push or two, and little Adelyn flipped to the correct position and was born!

It is the most incredible feeling in the world to give birth to a little angel.  I remember exclaiming, "That feels SO good!  THIS is why I do natural!"

They placed the goopy baby on my chest and I completely fell in love.  Her warm little naked body was the most amazing thing to me right then.  I couldn't believe she was there, and that it was all over.

I looked at the clock and realized it was only 4:23, and turned to Renee and said, "Did I do ok on time!?" Really, I was so grateful to have been able to deliver before she had left.  She was so wonderful, and such a great nurse.  I was blessed to have her there.

Robbie had planned to receive her like he had with Dax, but the actual delivery had gone so quickly, there was no time for him to glove up and do it.  However, he did cut the cord.  When he held her for the first time, I am pretty sure he fell in love.

I mean, wouldn't you???

The Best of the Best

 Robbie is the best. Serious.

Also my sister/doula, Talya.  She pretty much rocks.

My dad worked hard all day.

Light-touch massage is heavenly.

Fresh goopy baby is the best feeling in the world.

Baby Adelyn being de-gooped.

8 lbs. 1 oz.

Also the best?  My midwife, Machel Knowles, and my ridiculously rockin' nurse, Renee.

Better than the best?

This.

'Nuff said.

PaMa and PaPa kisses.

PaPa is a total sucker for his grandbabies.

Grandma Allred is too.

 Dax seeing baby Addie for the first time.

 He LOVES her!

 Not kidding.  He wouldn't stop giving her loves.  He still does this.

Eventually, he got bored and played "Wosie"

(Ring Around the Rosie) by himself for a while.

 Our little exhausted family.  Don't worry, I really looked that rad.  Not even scared.

 I love this shot.

Addie's first bath.  Apparently, parents aren't allowed to help anymore.

So this is us, taking pictures through the thick glass.

 We're diggin' the blonde.

The view I had all day.  It pretty much ruled.

Daddy can't get enough of her, either.

Addie all ready to go home the next afternoon.

Here we are....a family of FOUR!!!

Birth story to come....but some people (ahem....Erica) were getting impatient for pictures.  :)

Unexpected Blessings

photos by Clayton Hansen Photography

The past few weeks have gone differently than I had hoped or expected.  Originally, I had planned to come up to Salt Lake to stay only about 2 weeks before the baby was due.  Mostly, because I didn't think she'd come all that early, and also because I knew I'd go stir crazy away from home/hubby/friends/things that need to get done.

September 24, I woke up from a nap having consistent contractions.  Between 10-15 minutes apart, consistent.  Don't get me wrong, these were not super-intense contractions, but Robbie and I had been praying for weeks that we would know in enough time and be able to make it to Salt Lake in time for the baby.  We both felt that this might be the warning we had been praying for.

Seven or eight hours later we were at my parents' house in Sandy, and the contractions slowed to between 20-30 minutes apart so that I could sleep.  When I woke the next morning, and pretty much ever since, the contractions have been still going...and going.......and going........and going............with little to no change.

The next Monday at my appointment, I was devastated to hear that literally nothing had changed.  Robbie had to go back to work, the baby was showing no sign of coming, and I was moved up a week and a half earlier than I had wanted or planned.  With still no baby.  Or husband.

That week (week 37 of the pregnancy), both Dax and I had a rough week.  Dax woke up during the night and far too early in the morning...to say nothing of his horrible naps.  I couldn't sleep at night, was missing my husband, and desperately wanting this baby to come to make it all end.  We were both losing it.

The next week, at our appointment (week 38), we were only a 2+ and still 80%.  Barely any progress, but somehow I was at peace.  I felt good, and things were somehow more easy to manage.  Dax still has daily tantrums, but he is SO lovey otherwise.  For instance, tonight, we watched Toy Story together on the couch, and he gave me countless kisses out of nowhere, and kept snuggling up to me and the belly, smiling all the time.  He gives me "loves" (hugs) and slobbery kisses without me asking for them, and is always holding my hand.  Even a week ago, all these things were QUITE rare.

I think he senses that something is up.  I know he misses his daddy like crazy (I've become the replacement parental jungle gym, he's always asking, "Where Dad-dy go?" and talking about daddy in every picture he sees, among other things).  But relatively speaking, he's been such a good little boy, I couldn't ask for anything better to keep me sane right now.

The other night, driving home, Dax kept pointing out every chapel he could see and saying, "Dempo!  Dempo!"  I tried a few times to correct him by saying, "Sweetie, that's a church."  To which he would respond, "Dempo!  Dempo!"  I could see it was going to be difficult to change his mind, so I went with it, and asked, "Daxson, would you like to sing a song about temples?"

"Beas?"

My heart melted and I began to sing "I Love to See the Temple".  When I finished, he immediately said, "Dempo.  Seene."

"Dax, would you like me to sing the temple song again?"

"Beas?"

So....I sang it again.  Over and over again, until we reached PaMa and PaPa's house.  It was the sweetest moment....and my heart melts a little more every time we get in the car and he asks me to sing to him again.  I love that he is so enamored by temples.  I love his sweet little spirit.  He's my little angel.....tantrums and all.

In addition to the blessings of feeling more at peace and Dax being so sweet, another huge tender mercy came at our last appointment as well.  I have been stressing majorly about Robbie.  He's been working so hard to finish his current class (it ends next week) on top of working 50-70 hours per week and he's living 4 hours away from me and Dax and 5 hours from the hospital we plan to deliver at.

I am certain labor will be long enough that we can get him to the hospital in time, but if I happen to go in to labor in the afternoon/evening/night, I seriously worry about Robbie being too tired to drive.  This stress mixed with my great desire not to be induced do not mesh very well, unfortunately.  I have been going back and forth and back and forth about what would be best for our situation.  At our appointment, we went ahead and scheduled an induction for Tuesday morning, October 12.  Up until that moment, I was stressed out beyond belief as to what I was going to do, but I felt suddenly so at peace with it.  After all, my babies need a daddy, not a victim in a car accident somewhere on Highway 6.

I know that these things may seem so small to many of you, but to me.....it's proof that Heavenly Father knows me and loves me.

I'm still praying like crazy that Adelyn will choose to join us without the help of pitocin, but if not....I know that everything will turn out ok.  I've done this before, and I have the best midwife, doula, and support system anyone could ever have.  I am so grateful for it all.  But mostly, I'm grateful for the peace I feel.

I guess the fact that I get to see my husband again in T minus 33 hours or so helps a bit too.

Simple, Yet Profound, Tender Mercies

I have a ridiculous amount of things to catch up on (blogging about Summer included), but many will have to wait...at least until I can get this one down.

Yesterday (Sunday) was quite a tender mercy.  First of all, being able to serve in Young Womens is a blessing in and of itself.  I learn so much and am so humbled by those little teenage turds that I sit in awe of them often!

Yesterday I was to teach a lesson on The Importance of Life and Procreation.  Slightly daunting, but not that big of a deal.  When it came time for YW to begin, my great friend Nicole (who was to teach the Mia Maids) approached me with the thought to combine the Laurels and Mia Maids (there was only 1 MM there that day, and though she's the youngest one, she's also more mature than most of the Laurels) and to team-teach.

Sounded good to me!

The gravity of the lesson started to exhibit itself shortly afterward.  Nicole is one of those people who you can't help but love.  She's fabulous at EVERYTHING.  She's beautiful, talented, super-spiritual, nice to everyone, funny, lets me be ridiculous and immature, and a fantastic mother.  Problem is, she's never been blessed with the ability to carry a child.  She currently has a darling three-year-old whom they were able to adopt, but since, have been unlucky in the adoption world, though hoping desperately to add more to their family asap.

So here I am, nearly eight months pregnant, about to teach a bunch of teenage girls that one of their most divine roles in life is to bring children into the world.  With someone who had never done so.

The Spirit was incredibly strong as we were able to share our different, yet so very similar, stories about the importance of motherhood and how these girls are Heavenly Father's greatest creation.  We all cried at some point, but I am certain that those precious daughters of Heavenly Father will not soon forget the lesson that they learned that day.

I hope to not forget.

Hence the post.

On a related note, Nicole and her husband were selected a few hours later by a birth family to adopt a sweet baby girl in just three short weeks.

I am still in awe.

Goodnight!

After snuggling with my cute little man for a few minutes, we made our way upstairs for bed.  Dax squealed with excitement as we changed him into his new Lightning McQueen pajamas, then he quietly backed his little self into my lap to read scriptures.  Upon closing the book, he promptly folded his chubby little arms and we said a prayer, then he gave me goodnight kisses and I tucked him into bed. 

Does life get any better than this?